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How to be normal

People just love being normal.

Published : 13 April 2018

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People just love being normal.

Normal is that state of being where you in yourself do not attract the attention of others because you fit it. To fit in, you must firstly be incapable of understanding the concept of there, their and they're, it is like Highlander, there can only be one! and in the case of being normal, the one is "there". This is incredibly important, and until you master it, your chances of being regarded as normal are slim to none. "There" is substituted for all occurrences of vaguely similarly sounding words.

Too many words, skip to the end.


Hissing Sid

Hissing Sid

Many other words are superfluous to requirements too, who needs "our" when you can use "are" instead, "have" is another unnecessary word, normal people use the word "of" as a replacement, this being 2 letters shorter, speeds up the sending of txts. "You're" is regarded as too difficult to spell and so normal people just use "your" in its place. Also to be normal, you must be fluent in either football or soap opera or better still, both, but this requirement can quickly negate any claim to being normal if you can also converse in boring stuff like politics or reality. (Not to be mistaken for reality TV.). Thinking Jeremy Clarkson is clever or funny or both and being a fan of both Top Gear and Britain's got Talent/Xfactor are other indications you may be normal.



A dog on a motorbike.

A dog on a motorbike.

TL;DR - Conclusion.


Thanks to twelve years of compulsory education, most people find being normal quite easy to manage. It doesn't seem to get in there way, either at work or in social situations such as the pub or the bingo. Others have a more difficult time of it and struggle to remain pretty vacant for a full 24 hours in any given day. A few people, who, after many years of trying there best to be normal, finally crack and give up any further attempts, withdraw into there own little world, keep the curtains permanently closed and refuse to answer the door unless a prior appointment has been made. Pretending to be normal can be very time consuming if done correctly, the best way to be normal, is to be born that way, and even that isn't as easy as it sounds.


 

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